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Saturday, September 10, 2016

Been a while.(10.09.2016)

Lots has happened, or what seems to be lots looking backwards. Currently, as i'm writing this, I'm at a mental hospital -- I'm just gonna call it 'asylum', since it's simpler. Why am I here? Mainly, because I'm drawing closer and closer to the "threshold of insanity", I've had suicidal plans, but the safety switch still works. Though, that's of no concern. My main is still the heart and emptiness It has been expanding. It feels so empty. Like something essential, that's supposed to be there, gone,

I still can't imagine, or at least say, what i'd call "imagining".For all it's been worth, i've posted on DeviantArt. I don't really dwell on colors, since I feel as if it'd be a wasted effort, if the base is boring and crap.
http://imh1ki.deviantart.com/

I also had a chance to play piano at the school. I've played piano once at relative's. And I've owned a kids' synthesizer waaaay back, so it ain't exactly my first time. If you were to listen, listen to earlier posted / older stuff. They have more composition over newer stuff (since newer stuff was mainly when I was hit by depression wave and didn't really feel like playing. You can astray far from: "Untitled" series & "Uncertainty").
The 6-th day also had a melody somehow so similar to something that I can't recall. Others had also similar melody, yet didn't know from where,
https://soundcloud.com/hikiko-unlimited

Dreams -- still as weird as usual. Though, thinking back, i've died quite many times. Not in the nice way either. Mainly ripped to pieces by some weird shadow things, caught and killed, eaten etc.
i'm still trying to impose getting "into myself" and somehow, unlocking something (mainly imagination. Therefore, I open any insanity with open arms, in hopes to turn it to my own favor).

I've no idea where my life is heading, but i've a feeling of unknown, Maybe death would indeed be a sweet relief.

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