U...ru... SAI!! (Shut up!)

I find chatting very annoying. People talk and laugh at the middle of the class when I'm trying to concentrate. At one point i was so angry, that i had one thought in my mind. "Die" (as in a command to other). Non-stop laughter for 45min and teacher does nothing. I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

Dropping an handicapped friend off by the local library. Walking down the street in bad mood. Noticed that dogs nearby houses were acting weird.  They turned around and started barking at me (there's a house that owns 2 dogs, and about 100m away, there's another house with one small white one). I decided to ignore it but then the white dog reacted in a similar behaviour. I said telepathically "Shut up already!" and the dog did. He just stared me walk away.

I was in rather bad mood to be amazed what i did, but right now, i am. There's one thing that annoys me though. Most of such things happen when I'm in a negative state of mind (probably because then i don't care of the consequences). And then i do these things out of emotions, not from will.

Random feelings and thoughts

Had a rough night. Attempted to sleep and do OBE. Both failed. Had some weird porn going through my head and i stood awake until it got bright (around 3-4 at the morning). I just couldn't stop it. The last thing i remember is slapping myself in the face and being able to sleep. Guess mental resistance didn't work. (It was like someone kept sending these clips and images, i kept pushing away and saying "Shh.." which echoed through my mind).

And now, watching videos of jet engines and after burner on youtube, i got the feeling as somebody would say "I love you". ... You know... that utter happiness. Accepting everything as is. All i can say right now... "What the fuck is going on". I already am having a slight headache of all of it.