Been a while.(10.09.2016)

Lots has happened, or what seems to be lots looking backwards. Currently, as i'm writing this, I'm at a mental hospital -- I'm just gonna call it 'asylum', since it's simpler. Why am I here? Mainly, because I'm drawing closer and closer to the "threshold of insanity", I've had suicidal plans, but the safety switch still works. Though, that's of no concern. My main is still the heart and emptiness It has been expanding. It feels so empty. Like something essential, that's supposed to be there, gone,

I still can't imagine, or at least say, what i'd call "imagining".For all it's been worth, i've posted on DeviantArt. I don't really dwell on colors, since I feel as if it'd be a wasted effort, if the base is boring and crap.
http://imh1ki.deviantart.com/

I also had a chance to play piano at the school. I've played piano once at relative's. And I've owned a kids' synthesizer waaaay back, so it ain't exactly my first time. If you were to listen, listen to earlier posted / older stuff. They have more composition over newer stuff (since newer stuff was mainly when I was hit by depression wave and didn't really feel like playing. You can astray far from: "Untitled" series & "Uncertainty").
The 6-th day also had a melody somehow so similar to something that I can't recall. Others had also similar melody, yet didn't know from where,
https://soundcloud.com/hikiko-unlimited

Dreams -- still as weird as usual. Though, thinking back, i've died quite many times. Not in the nice way either. Mainly ripped to pieces by some weird shadow things, caught and killed, eaten etc.
i'm still trying to impose getting "into myself" and somehow, unlocking something (mainly imagination. Therefore, I open any insanity with open arms, in hopes to turn it to my own favor).

I've no idea where my life is heading, but i've a feeling of unknown, Maybe death would indeed be a sweet relief.

Just leaving this here

This anime touches some pretty interesting points (suggestions, memories, OBE, fears etc):

http://kissanime.to/Anime/Ghost-Hound/Episode-001

Update of 9.09.2015

Well-p. It's been over a month since I posted anything here. I've mainly been doing streams and random art, so yeah.

A lot of post-dreams have become more of a state of awareness to what I could actually do. And I'm kinda remembering how things are constructed. ... that is meanwhile cursing later why things don't fucking work. :P
But considering how fast my style has changed and the amount I learn, is pretty darn big... but personally, I think it's still too little. The constant feeling of "I could do a lot better" persists and often leads to frustration and and sadness.

Reference + Freestyle sketch (8-th September)

Bodies still look heavily awkward and don't have the correct feeling to them.

(7-th September, random Lineart)

Some traditional art (4-th September)

(26 August, got annoyed by the facial expression and perspective, abandoned)

(25-th August, Yuki's Birthday)

(???, inspired by Facebook's pirate language)

Wasting time again (5.08.2015)

This is how I waste time:

While playing GMod Deathrun, this happened. Yuki took a screenshot XD

And while streaming Dark Messiah, there raised a question how big is big (referring to boobs). And Yuki was kinda disappointed with her own, so i drew a picture with her having some. 

(Clearly not one of my best, but it's something)

There are other stuff, but don't feel like wasting time on that. Oh well.

Update of 1.08.2015

I'm slowly gaining control over dreams. Especially using and utilizing abilities. Flying has turned into one of the most used ones. No matter the theme of dream (except terror), I can use it, though not instantly. Takes time to get the feeling.

While talking about dreams, I remember some, that i'd like to note down.

"Click"
In a world quite similar to our own, I met a lady in about 30's. She was able to freely use PK. I asked how she does it and she answered that "you relax and empty your mind, then focus on the object until it 'clicks', then manipulate it". I'm unsure to what she was referring to. Bio-field? State of mind? *shrugs*

Flying-related dreams
Well, for one, I got a good understanding on how my village looks from above. It was awesome :P

And I one dream, i was thirsty, so i tried to get something to drink from one of those dispenser machines. Then a guy comes to shoo me away.

In today's dream, there was some show-type of thingy going on. I was just observing from the back row by levitating. :D

The other thing I've been trying to do is "collide" dream world with reality. Kind of like a state of mind where you exhibit full capabilities of dream world. For example, visualization. The clarity you have in a dream and the ability to instantly create things. It would be extremely useful with art, music etc.
Just yesterday, after waking and going back to sleep, I saw an extremely detailed image of a nekomimi (catgirl). I mean on a level of a professional artist, who has had years of experience with manga. However when I tried to recreate it, I had forgotten most about it.