The majority of the damage was dealt by the series of dreams. I've HEAVILY restricted my own posts, but kept them... just as a sheer reminder of what and when i'm feeling it.
This, is how it looks like:
The list goes on. You get the idea.
Man... this sucks. I might have somewhat made progress on what causes it.
As you may know, i barely talk. I've cut myself out of all sociability -- BUT! There's this other side of me. It WANTS to be sociable. It wants to help, to make people happy. The reason why i'm restricting it... i guess you could say, that I don't want to feel loss again. The feeling of being left behind. Of being alone. If i got no connections, i cannot feel the loss, but as you can see, it's taking the equivalent toll on it's own. The fact, that nothing will stay as it was... and i guess, i'm terrified of that. Of me staying the same, while everyone goes away. I feel as if i'm a ghost. I'm there in front of everyone, yet no one can see me, nor will stay with me.
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ENOUGH.
(deep breath)
Yesterday, i made a Joule Thief and it works great. Runs 6 LED's on full power from a single AA battery.
Today, i attempted to make my own battery. One somewhat worked... It gave out 0.60V which was enough to run 6 LED's with JT (Joule thief) dimly. The other one which i made out of an high -voltage electrolyte cap, failed. It only gave out 0.30V, then had dropped to 0.20V.
Tomorrow, i shall go to the pharmacy story and see if I can get some Epsom salts to make a crystal battery.
We'll see how it all goes. We'll see.
Ego.
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