Good thing is, that i'm starting to get it. Last night i was stopping myself with analyzing it. When the vibes came, i tried to memorize what it feels like. Nothing much to be said, though. Simply being thoughtless causes vibes. Probably the best technique to go with, too.
There's another annoying thing. This state between OBE and sleep. It's just simply like a dim light being shined onto you (when there is none). Generating pictures and other stuff is easy, yet they are very unstable at first.
During this state, someone said "hey" and i jumped half-ly out. Not sure who wanted what.
Since i get into this state once, i cannot sleep anymore. I'd have to wake up, do something for a while, then go back to sleep (kinda like resetting the cycle). So the night went by seeing all kinds of crap. Strangely, i'm not that tired.
...also, i didn't get tired from the numbness that quick. Usually, i can't take more that 40 min in same position. Last night i was clearly over an hour.
---
Edit:
I remember a little about some dreams i saw.
Dream log: Alone again and killed.
I'm not sure where the dreams took place. It was totally different. I was with a woman, not sure who she was, but i felt as i knew her for a long time. I mean REALLY long. I'm not sure if she was even alive.
The place, where we went was near an ocean. It was sunny. We went to a bunker-like place. Something was generating electricity there (hydro-powered plant?), long lightning arcs were constantly flying from near the gears. It looked abandoned. We left, it was night.
Years later, alone, i came back to it. It was winter. Fairly windy. It was still dark, street lamps on. The environment reminded me of one of those anime styled villages. A couple of people were walking by. I sighed, and walked to where we used to be. I was sad. Missing that person. As i took one step nearer the gears where sparks fly off, everything starts to go nuts. Everything starts to fall apart. I try running to the door that i came from... locked? How? Someone trying to kill me? Damn. I approach a wall, take my last look at all the madness that is going on and press my palm against the wall. I created a portal to another place. I step through... wait what? Sunny? The same place? What happened? Everything seems to be stopped. Did i time-travel to future? I exit through the door. It's sunny indeed. Everything still seems like it used to be, yet i see no people.
At some point, i get hunted down. Mafia or something. I get shot to the heart and then to the head. I even remember asking myself:"Am i dead? *Sighs*... No. How many times have i "died" already? ...Too many to count".
//Dream ends//
Funny thing is that i've died countless times in my dreams. You just get used to it, but that's not it. It feels like the people i care are always dying around me, yet never me. Am i really doomed to watch everyone around me die?
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Work (part 2)
Met with the person who is going to run it. She said each sapling is equivelent to 5-6 cents. In a day, you plant around 1000 saplings. Well, that's what she said. Let's test that hypotesis:
Simulate:
Pick a plant = 3 sec
Create a hole = 3 sec
Plant it = 2 sec
Stand up and stomp on the surrounding area = 6 sec
Take 2 steps = 1.5, but let's say around 2 sec.
This all summed up will be 14 sec. That means you plant around 4 saplings each minute. 240 in hour. They said that they worked around 4-5 hours which equals to 960 < 1200 saplings.
Now... let's see how fast i could do it when i would do things simultaneously:
Grab a plant and create a hole = 2 sec
Stand up, stomp, take 2 steps = 6 sec
That's 8 seconds. 7.5 plants per minute. 450 saplings in hour. 1800 < 2250 saplings. That means practically double my earning. Sure, i would get bored, but already found a solution. I will download tons of music (music is like super-booster for energy and motivation).
With all this calculated out, i will earn my goal in around 2 days. If i would continue like others, i would achieve it in 4 days. I have no intention of idling around. I will put all my skill and will into it and will do a good job, while doing it fast.
I think i might be overhyped from the sheer thought of it. The thought of achieving it. Sure, our home classroom teach is going to be annoying, but what annoys me, is that some are always absent (since like from 4 months ago, even further, and still hasn't been thrown out of school) If i'm absent for a week or few, it won't be that bad. They don't teach anything there, anyways.
Simulate:
Pick a plant = 3 sec
Create a hole = 3 sec
Plant it = 2 sec
Stand up and stomp on the surrounding area = 6 sec
Take 2 steps = 1.5, but let's say around 2 sec.
This all summed up will be 14 sec. That means you plant around 4 saplings each minute. 240 in hour. They said that they worked around 4-5 hours which equals to 960 < 1200 saplings.
Now... let's see how fast i could do it when i would do things simultaneously:
Grab a plant and create a hole = 2 sec
Stand up, stomp, take 2 steps = 6 sec
That's 8 seconds. 7.5 plants per minute. 450 saplings in hour. 1800 < 2250 saplings. That means practically double my earning. Sure, i would get bored, but already found a solution. I will download tons of music (music is like super-booster for energy and motivation).
With all this calculated out, i will earn my goal in around 2 days. If i would continue like others, i would achieve it in 4 days. I have no intention of idling around. I will put all my skill and will into it and will do a good job, while doing it fast.
I think i might be overhyped from the sheer thought of it. The thought of achieving it. Sure, our home classroom teach is going to be annoying, but what annoys me, is that some are always absent (since like from 4 months ago, even further, and still hasn't been thrown out of school) If i'm absent for a week or few, it won't be that bad. They don't teach anything there, anyways.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Work
I'm gonna start doing some work after school next month. The sole reason for this is to buy an electric guitar (electro-acoustic may sound somewhat like it but is hard as f' to play. Electric one won't make any sound when i play at night either... or at day, that matter).
The work itself is simple. Plant trees (they pay by how many packs of we plant). Each day around 3-4 hours and it pays off fairly well. Plus, i get to be in nature for a while. This sitting at home gets boring.
This whole idea is already set in stone, for me. I will not back out. If i want something, i will achieve it. Too bad there ain't any more of such things. I've loved helping others anyways (yet never myself or my family). I guess i'm somewhat a selfless freak, haha.
Apart from that, not much has really happened. Re installed Kali linux (with persistence) on usb again. Did some vulnerability scanning on some websites, sent info to the admin (if they have any idea what to do with it. Mainly info from Nikto, Vega and Zenmap, didn't bother going with aggressive analysis). Wrote a script to set up VPN. Not much else, really.... well, except from playing games.
Saw some casual dreams. Nothing worth mentioning.
---
Edit: Actually, there was somewhat of a significance to the dream i saw. I remember setting a pin. The pin was actually a name if the certain numbers were flipped upside-down. I saw myself entering that pin. I had only set that pin on last Thursday! There's usually a really long delay when a certain information is being used, this one was way too quick! The landscapes were similar to of what Peipsi is (i like it a lot, yet it feels sad for some reason).
Also, remembered that when i went to the hair-dresser, i said that "i had been here before". Mom said that i said that last time we came as well. There's this constant mind-bogging going on. I cannot remember where i have seen things, but know i have. It's kinda like awakening process. If you don't memorize it instantly, you will forget it (unless it bears some sort of big significance).
The work itself is simple. Plant trees (they pay by how many packs of we plant). Each day around 3-4 hours and it pays off fairly well. Plus, i get to be in nature for a while. This sitting at home gets boring.
This whole idea is already set in stone, for me. I will not back out. If i want something, i will achieve it. Too bad there ain't any more of such things. I've loved helping others anyways (yet never myself or my family). I guess i'm somewhat a selfless freak, haha.
Apart from that, not much has really happened. Re installed Kali linux (with persistence) on usb again. Did some vulnerability scanning on some websites, sent info to the admin (if they have any idea what to do with it. Mainly info from Nikto, Vega and Zenmap, didn't bother going with aggressive analysis). Wrote a script to set up VPN. Not much else, really.... well, except from playing games.
Saw some casual dreams. Nothing worth mentioning.
---
Edit: Actually, there was somewhat of a significance to the dream i saw. I remember setting a pin. The pin was actually a name if the certain numbers were flipped upside-down. I saw myself entering that pin. I had only set that pin on last Thursday! There's usually a really long delay when a certain information is being used, this one was way too quick! The landscapes were similar to of what Peipsi is (i like it a lot, yet it feels sad for some reason).
Also, remembered that when i went to the hair-dresser, i said that "i had been here before". Mom said that i said that last time we came as well. There's this constant mind-bogging going on. I cannot remember where i have seen things, but know i have. It's kinda like awakening process. If you don't memorize it instantly, you will forget it (unless it bears some sort of big significance).
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Dream log: Drunk and high? Odd convos.
Went to sleep since i was rage'ing over hairdresser (they never do as you want. Next time i'll take scisccors with me, to prove my point that i'm not kidding around). Decided not to speak with anyone (*Is like a time bomb. More negativity will only speed it up*) Saw this a moment ago. Was quite bizarre.
I'm not sure if i was drunk or high, but it all happened at home. It was night. I suddenly felt kinda dizzy. I noticed that whenever i breathed, it came out as smoke and fire, so i started blowing for fun. Not sure if the fire, smoke and dizzyness symbolized my rage. Hmm, well, whatever.
Another dream. It took place in various places, but mainly somewhere tropical. Sands, sun, clear blue water, palms, little wooden houses. The other part was somewhat more modern-like. Good roads, rather mountain-ish region, stone buildings and vending machines.
Me and handicapped friend were standing near one and he said:
Him:(With a disappointed tone) "These coffee vending machines are a total crap. They taste nothing like real coffee"
Me:"Not all of them are like this."
Him:"How so?"
Me:"Some actually grind the coffee beans and make coffee like you usually do. I think these ones just use some sort of dissolvable substitute derrived from coffee."
Him:"(Thinks for a while)... Oh. Now i get it. But how do you know which is which?"
Me:"(Silence)... uhhh... Maybe they are bigger since they need bigger reserves for it?"
Him and me: (Shrugs).
===
Him:"What's the key for using stuff?"
Me:"Dude. How the hell did you even make this far? We don't use keys. It's all controlled by our minds."
(VR game reference?)
===
[Inside a beach house, door open]
Me: (Takes aim and shoots a rocket at a guy on an overwater island) (Boom) "Sorry! I misclicked!" (thinks) "Oh damn... we don't have mice and keyboards. "
(He shoots back. I jump as the rocket flies right past below my crotch.)
Guy:" (Yells back) Sorry! I accidentally took aim at you and shot as well! Mistakes happen, right?"
Me:"(Mutters to himself) You sarcastic son of a.. . Well. Atleast i know that this doesn't work."
I get weird dreams with different strong emotions. At least they are fun and hillarious and make absolutely no sense.
(12:51)
Dream log: Apocalypse of madness
Can't remember all of it.
There was 4 of us. 3 males (around ages of 18 to 21) and a female of (around 16-17). We were wandering around the city. We were hungry and thirsty. Everything seemed normal. People walking and doing stuff they normally do, but whenever we would try communicating, they would simply go nuts. They would lose their sanity and start attacking us, so we tried to evade everyone. Luckily, we came over some other people like us. They had food, but wanted us to work for it (simple house work stuff). Money was a rarity. They paid 1 per job (these jobs were really time consuming, so we would have first starved to death). Each of us took a job and we combined our money. We got only one box of food. I gave up my share for the sake of others.
My job was fairly strange. I had to fix a sink (i guess the fear of overflooding was somewhat part of it. I kinda have the fear that i'm unable to stop any kind of flow once i start it). I somewhat fixed it. There was a huge hole (kinda like one of those mining ones). Wonder how i never saw it. One step to the left and i would have fallen.
I'm not sure if i was drunk or high, but it all happened at home. It was night. I suddenly felt kinda dizzy. I noticed that whenever i breathed, it came out as smoke and fire, so i started blowing for fun. Not sure if the fire, smoke and dizzyness symbolized my rage. Hmm, well, whatever.
Another dream. It took place in various places, but mainly somewhere tropical. Sands, sun, clear blue water, palms, little wooden houses. The other part was somewhat more modern-like. Good roads, rather mountain-ish region, stone buildings and vending machines.
Me and handicapped friend were standing near one and he said:
Him:(With a disappointed tone) "These coffee vending machines are a total crap. They taste nothing like real coffee"
Me:"Not all of them are like this."
Him:"How so?"
Me:"Some actually grind the coffee beans and make coffee like you usually do. I think these ones just use some sort of dissolvable substitute derrived from coffee."
Him:"(Thinks for a while)... Oh. Now i get it. But how do you know which is which?"
Me:"(Silence)... uhhh... Maybe they are bigger since they need bigger reserves for it?"
Him and me: (Shrugs).
===
Him:"What's the key for using stuff?"
Me:"Dude. How the hell did you even make this far? We don't use keys. It's all controlled by our minds."
(VR game reference?)
===
[Inside a beach house, door open]
Me: (Takes aim and shoots a rocket at a guy on an overwater island) (Boom) "Sorry! I misclicked!" (thinks) "Oh damn... we don't have mice and keyboards. "
(He shoots back. I jump as the rocket flies right past below my crotch.)
Guy:" (Yells back) Sorry! I accidentally took aim at you and shot as well! Mistakes happen, right?"
Me:"(Mutters to himself) You sarcastic son of a.. . Well. Atleast i know that this doesn't work."
I get weird dreams with different strong emotions. At least they are fun and hillarious and make absolutely no sense.
(12:51)
Dream log: Apocalypse of madness
Can't remember all of it.
There was 4 of us. 3 males (around ages of 18 to 21) and a female of (around 16-17). We were wandering around the city. We were hungry and thirsty. Everything seemed normal. People walking and doing stuff they normally do, but whenever we would try communicating, they would simply go nuts. They would lose their sanity and start attacking us, so we tried to evade everyone. Luckily, we came over some other people like us. They had food, but wanted us to work for it (simple house work stuff). Money was a rarity. They paid 1 per job (these jobs were really time consuming, so we would have first starved to death). Each of us took a job and we combined our money. We got only one box of food. I gave up my share for the sake of others.
My job was fairly strange. I had to fix a sink (i guess the fear of overflooding was somewhat part of it. I kinda have the fear that i'm unable to stop any kind of flow once i start it). I somewhat fixed it. There was a huge hole (kinda like one of those mining ones). Wonder how i never saw it. One step to the left and i would have fallen.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Update of 1.03.2014
More snow! Great. No really, i like cold, stormy and dark weathers. The usual is boring and hot. I dislike heat, but sometimes, it's not too bad.
I was finally capable of seeing my aura yesterday. It was a very strange combination of colors, though. Near hand was red and then gradually turned a strong blue. I observed for until i couldn't see it anymore. Stopped, then i saw only dark purple.
One thing's funny. I'm a difficult person to decode. My personality is so unstable, not to even mention my motives. People have started to fear me because of it. (*Laughs*). Also, i guess they fear me because i once said out loud "Everyone as an enemy. One's just closer than another". Friend or an enemy, the same thing, just like yin-yang.
Going back to last night topic. It was difficult to fall asleep. 3-rd eye and sides of eyes were so hyped that they constantly felt like there was electricity moving. It was damn impossible to forget the thought since even the sightest added "oil to the fire", but i did it. I managed to suppress it.
I once noticed an interesting combo that seemed to make auras more easily visible. White -> A color -> Black. Somehow this seems to expose the eye to the aura. I'm gonna make this into a grid, see what comes out.
I was finally capable of seeing my aura yesterday. It was a very strange combination of colors, though. Near hand was red and then gradually turned a strong blue. I observed for until i couldn't see it anymore. Stopped, then i saw only dark purple.
One thing's funny. I'm a difficult person to decode. My personality is so unstable, not to even mention my motives. People have started to fear me because of it. (*Laughs*). Also, i guess they fear me because i once said out loud "Everyone as an enemy. One's just closer than another". Friend or an enemy, the same thing, just like yin-yang.
Going back to last night topic. It was difficult to fall asleep. 3-rd eye and sides of eyes were so hyped that they constantly felt like there was electricity moving. It was damn impossible to forget the thought since even the sightest added "oil to the fire", but i did it. I managed to suppress it.
I once noticed an interesting combo that seemed to make auras more easily visible. White -> A color -> Black. Somehow this seems to expose the eye to the aura. I'm gonna make this into a grid, see what comes out.
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