Feeling lifeless, seeing symbols, hallucinations...

I'm feeling lifeless again, i want to do something that can kill me. I need to overcome it. I want to jump to a ice cold water and meditate under water. Or stand in fire. I'm being imprisoned by reality again. I need to come close to death in order to be free of it.
I'm seeing symbols everywhere. One that i saw was like this.

Just drawing

Don't feel like doing PK. So i decided to draw. I will upload it too :)

---

You know one of those pressurized medicine thingies, that you spray to the mouth. I sprayed that to the air for no reason, and the cat reacted like i called him. Stra~nge....

---
Still trying to repair it in Photoshop... 

A death

A friend of a person died. I shall not tell whose because I respect one's privacy. Wish i could have healed her in real life. Now i feel guilty.... Feeling so incapable. Making me feel that i don't want to heal anyone again, block myself out of this reality. Why do i even practice these abilities, if i can't do it right?
I believe if we could've healed her in real life, we could've save her. :(

Psychic cats? (Repost of ShirakOmegaX post)

Bored... and still sick.

Well, today at school we had some kind of Christmas thingy. Dancing, singing and all that... Everybody looked happy. But why? Just because they got to be at the center of the attention?

A person from the forum, called 'shy', it's like i know her. I mean like met in person. She seems so familiar, yet i can't remember where or when I've seen her. What a mystery :)