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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Feeling lifeless, seeing symbols, hallucinations...

I'm feeling lifeless again, i want to do something that can kill me. I need to overcome it. I want to jump to a ice cold water and meditate under water. Or stand in fire. I'm being imprisoned by reality again. I need to come close to death in order to be free of it.
I'm seeing symbols everywhere. One that i saw was like this.



I will have to to some research what that symbol means.

Also, i'm seeing ... things. Again. Shadows, light entities. They look like people, sometimes they are different. Sometimes they scare me really good. I've seen some with wings. Demons? Angels? I do not know what they are. If they would be demons, salt would have stopped them from entering my room, if they were angels, angel banishment sigil should have worked. Yet it does not. None of them work. Orbs are also coming easier to see, and so are auras. Some say that you have to focus really hard to see aura's, to watch the background and train your eyes, yet i don't. I just look for few seconds and see it.
These entities also seem to possess somekind of PK skill. Because every time i see them, the light flashes.

Dreams have also worn me out lately. I find it hard to remember all the dreams. But here goes one that i had today.

The dream was completely abstract. It was school and I had PE lesson. Me and some of my old class mates. But the PE teacher was sick so we had to do it ourselves. So we did one near a pool. Everyone went in to have fun, yet i wanted so too, but we weren't allowed. But i still went on top of a water slide, with an old friend. We slid down it, i hit the water, found that some teachers were standing outside the pool, watching angrily. A classmate, girl, told we couldn't resist. The teacher seemed to understand and let us go. I remember a part where it was green, a tree, where the dream reality ended. I could visually see how further there, there wasn't any dream. But that's as much i can remember, since it is suppressed part of the dream, i am not supposed to remember it. But i remember being back at the pool, we jumped in again but this time we got punished. We got taken to the head master and like always, i'm a natural lier in critical situations. He let us go. I think i remember something about my death also. I remember a light room, where my mom gave birth to me, a calender showing "10.07.1995" Suddenly the 10 changes to 11. And further on 11.12.2012. I feel extreme sadness in my triangle (part of body, below lungs).
I remember playing football with classmates. One of the classmates hold me, so i couldn't help. I scream really loud, he releases me, i glow of red energy. everything i touch immediately sets on fire.
I remember a christmas, a family that i know, showed me a picture of them. 1, father; 2, older sister, ;3, younger sister; 4, mom. Everything was dark and old. I felt sadness again.

I'm gonna draw this dream.

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