Update of 31.07.2014

Finally, tomorrow i can be home alone. I can do things that i can't with other people nearby.

It rained. After who-knows-how-long. Now there's this "smokey" smell in air. Wonder if lightning struck somewhere nearby.

Tried playing with wind a little. Wasn't that great.

Lately, i've struck a stump. I feel so inferior. Whatever i may do, there's always someone that can do something that i cannot. It's infuriating. All i can do is draw things into air that last for few seconds (6 at most, at night, i can sustain a 'border' or outline of the object i imagine). I wanna be 'amazing' like others. I'm not asking to be greater than others, just enough to help...

Meditation. Silence: Sight, hearing, touch, sense, thought. Silence: Tiredness, emptiness. OBE = failed. Sleep length = 4 hours. Normal = 12 hours.

Dejavu of 28.07.2014

A storm is coming soon. Should prepare.

I'm programming a mindset into my subconscious. "Start dream / End dream". Anything between that region will be a dream, which means, i will be able easily identify if it's reality or not. Before sleeping, i would keep reminding myself "All following is a dream" and when ends, well... "end"... "stop". I'm also hoping that in future i can reverse the effect ie. "Reality becoming a dream".

Lots of blog posts have gone unposted. Few dream logs too.

Can't play with friend yet, since he's laptop got a virus (i'm speaking as if it was biological, lol). He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer either... even with my guidance. Gonna have to leave it up to the graduate then. :/

Well, i got nothing else to say.

Extra day? Why not.

Me, classmate and a graduate play games over a day (that is, usually Monday, Wednesday and Friday). On other days i play guitar.
I have clear memory of following: Game (monday), guitar (tuesday), game (wednesday), guitar (thursday) and game (friday). Apparently yesterday was Thursday. I have no idea how. It's like i somehow pulled out an extra day from a pocket! Well, everything went well anyways. We played yesterday since classmate goes to some sort of religion camp of sorts... *shrugs*. No idea for how long, so most of my schedule is replaced by "voice training". I hate my voice, especially the part that i cannot think and speak at the same time.
Will start playing lots of games and do commentary. I know it will come out bad, but all for the sake of progress (will most likely be in english).

I wish i could speak how i write. -.-

Update of 13.07.2014

I keep getting occasional tinnitus. I was thinking of it being from blood-pressure (my normal is around 80/150, the point where other's get a headache), but no. I comes for a second, then it's gone. It's pitch is also different and it doesn't always ring in both ears. Time-span also seems fairly random (normally ranging from 2 sec to minutes).

Me, a classmate and graduate were playing SWAT 4 over skype yesterday. 4 hours and 46 minutes. It ended at morning around 4 o'clock. That's a lot of fours...

And sorry, Sussch, noticed your message when it was too late. "Hei" back to you too! :D

At noon...err--night (night = noon), i went and gathered some 'Marigold' (in Estonian: "saialill", it's fairly easy to spot them due to their color even in the dark) and attempted to make some sort of extract. Ground them up nicely and then poured vinegar with salt.*facepalm*. I used salt/vinegar mix to etch metal (2 bottles which are exactly the same shape, but different substances within them). Quickly poured alcohol onto it which somehow stopped the reaction (tested with baking soda -- no reaction). Still, i'm gonna give it multiple washes (with alcohol) and try to crystallize it.

Dreams are... normal, i guess. There's quite a bit going on, but i'm either too tired, or simply won't memorize them. So yeah, no dreams to write down.

Update of 8.07.2014

Been a while since i posted anything. Mainly, because i end up going to sleep at 4 am (in the morning).

Have had tons of dreams. Nothing remarkable to write down.
I've been feeling kinda heavy. Not in a physical sense. There's confusion in my heart again. No idea, what's causing it.

Decided to meditate over a long time. It somehow felt really long to me... checked the clock -- It's only been 15 minutes. Went on for about 5 minutes, decided to stop, since i lost concentration.

After it, watched an interesting anime called "Mushishi" ("Mushi" meaning "bug" in literal translation, but in that context, it's often referred to as an "ethereal/primitive being". "Shi" meaning "master/expert").

It has pretty interesting concept behind it, and so far, no fighting scenes (at 7-th episode, there are around 26 + a follow up (zoku shou)?.... haven't got that far yet).

It speaks of entities and of the people who counter them. Some of them gain abilities, others lose. How people behave after having dealt with them.

In no means, it doesn't seem like an aggressive type of anime -- in fact, it has pretty pretty drawing style (especially how detailed the background is). It makes you feel soothed.

Watch episode 1 here