I never really liked this family. I feel... different, as not from here. One behaves as if he's a god, the other one is simply lets herself be used as an object. Now, at evening, we had acquaintances over again. The one with a child, who keeps annoying me. At a point, this happened:
"Dad" : (from living room -- It's next to my room) "Go give the ball to the boy".
The boy stands at the doorway. I ignore. Then dad comes.
Dad: "He probably can't lift that ball"
Me: "I simply don't have time to deal with you"
Dad: "He's probably scared"
Me: "No. I HATE kids."
Dad: "Then how are you gonna manage, if you have kids?"
Me: "I simply won't have any."
Slight time passes.
Dad: (from doorway) "You know, we used to hate you as a kid, too"
Me: (immediately,without slightest hesitation) "Good to know."
I really don't care, since they don't qualify as a 'family' to me. My handicapped classmate is closer to a family than they'll ever be. I couldn't really give a crap, since the people from dreams are my true family.
The times when i think I've somehow been born in a wrong reality, increases. I want someone to take me far away from this place... or disappear completely.
(Sure, mom can be a pain in the rear, but she somewhat qualifies under 'family'.)
(Sighs). These days it seems, as if strangers are the closest to what you could call a family.
[I don't exactly hate kids. If i were to compare anime children with real children, the only difference would be behaviour and personality. I simply just cannot stand the noise and annoying stuff. Especially the fact, how they are treated 'unique' and then, one day, just forgotten. This place is broken.]
I also feel alienated in my family. I don't think I've spent my previous lifetimes with them.
ReplyDeleteHowever, like one should respect any people, one should respect their family too. All beings are aspects of you. If you're unable to forgive to and love another person, you're unable to love yourself. Your body is also a compilation of different aspects. So, without love and compassion, the body won't last too long.
I love kids because they are the greatest teachers. Their ability to find happiness in the small things in life, their enthusiasm about learning, their unrestricted imagination and contact with the astral .. all the things we have forgotten on our way towards "growing up".
Back when I was a kid, I remember promising to one of my aunts that in a sense, I will always be a kid. I'm glad I did that.
Cheers and sorry that you feel this way.
No, i don't mean a kid. It's those who are younger. They practically lack any consciousness. I guess, they were called 'toddlers'? 'Kids' are a whole different deal. I do find them interesting, as well.
DeleteYou know, I don't really mind if my body doesn't last long. In fact, the less, the better.
Though, I don't exactly keep any grudge against anyone. So yeah, it's not 'Hate Hate'. Despise, i guess it's what you could call it.
Btw, nice timing on sending the comment. :D
I guess I have nothing against toddlers either. They do test one's patience and self-control. In addition, they grow real quick.
ReplyDeleteI like to use resources efficiently. If I have a cell phone, I prefer that it would last for 10 years or more. The same with a laptop, the same with clothes. As for a body, I would like it to last for as long as anyone would want to use it.
As sister described her pre-birth experience, there are tons of souls waiting for their time to reincarnate. Some of them have been waiting in the limbo for centuries, some perhaps for a thousand years or even more. You have earned the privilege of getting a body.
Bah. Let them then wait. I don't know how i got a body, but I wouldn't wait, doing nothing. I'd be happy to go wherever i want. Even if i can't -- f*ck rules. I'll stop existing for all i care. If i could, i'd even give up this body.
DeleteThen again... why the hell are they even waiting? There are tons of realities (unlimited, at that).
You are totally waiting to post these on time, aren't you? :D
On time? What do you mean? :D
ReplyDelete