Questions, and no answers. (20.08.2014)

Many drafts, many emotions put into them. Discarded. Gone unheard.

As i was reading 'Bible of the Undead', variety of emotions popped up. One point, i wanted to drop the book. Then it got interesting, then it again got boring.

What is the only thing I CAN'T STAND, is being oblivious of other possibilities. You can't go around and say:" Hey, discard anything that you knew before. Here. You now follow this -- This is truth". There is no single truth. There are no such things as 'truth' and 'false', 'good' and 'bad'.

Another thing that constantly annoyed me was the word 'God'. Anything's better than that! Call it, for example 'mother', due to mom/child (universe/soul) alike relationship. The word itself already sounds different, unlike 'God'.

I actually remember a faint memory of what he spoke of.

"You will hear a gentle sound almost below the level of awareness not unlike tiny wavelets upon a beach at night, soothing like a true Aeolian harp, like Chinese wind bells, cheering, exciting. You will not be afraid. You will not be alone, but sheltered, protected and cared for as you were in your mother's womb. You will be aware of an effulgence of love surrounding and being a part of your very being so great, that you will find yourself saying the ultimate of prayers, gratitude to the Being of whom you are integral part".
I remember floating above earth. It felt like someone had her arms wrapped around me from behind. A "thank you" from the heart and that's it. I cannot remember anything besides that.

STILL. I will not take likely the fact that i'm being used as a toy by someone. I will get to the bottom of this.

Lets see of what i dreamt of today?... I had my stomach cut open, so i sewed it together, something about powers, a dream where i was sleeping and a bat flew in from the window, startled me awake, and a lot more.

Yeah, i'm not gonna read Bible of the Undead until the clashing emotions have calmed down. Until i can concentrate with no emotion.