I've became a real ghost. How many people i wished new year? None... well, some came to me and then i had no choice to do the same. 3 people in total (out of who knows how much? 11? More?).
With another year gone, the pain grew stronger again. I still cannot understand what this pain is, but i have made progress. It seems to be connected to 3 things: Missing someone, the night sky and Doctor Who's Fourth series ending soundtrack (especially the point where choir goes from pitch scale to 6---5-4-3--3---3-5-4-2-3-1--- >>> 6-----5678-5-4-2-6-5---- <<<. That's around 2:21)
I don't know why, but now i remembered, that once i had a dream of a woman falling off a cliff and accidentally assigned a wrong soundtrack. The moment i heard it, i was 100% sure, this is it (i believe, it was from Elfen Lied?)
The thing is, how can i know something, without never having heard it. This dream was who knows how long ago, and i had no idea of Doctor Who then.
Well, either way, it's starting to get more difficult to keep this at bay. I SERIOUSLY need to go to a hypnotherapist and find out, what exactly is going on.
(Mom just says that it's "black days". They don't come this often and at this amplitude. Also, thinks that i won't open up to them. That's plausible.)
Ah, happy new year to you too! :)
ReplyDeleteYou've probably also lost someone important in your previous lives.
Perhaps you're also missing samadhi. Imagine experiencing this, then, after a tiny little slip, you die and have to start all over again.
Well... that would suck... a lot.
DeleteIt's quite possible. Cannot remember almost anything of my past life, though.