My mom wanted the Estonian version of "The Croods" on DVD. While burning one... 2%... 5 min later, still the same spot. Then the DVD writer starts to do weird sounds. I attempt to halt the burning process. Nope. Press eject button. Nope. Ctrl + Shift + ESC, processes, End process: Neroexpress.exe. Nero closes, yet doesn't give me the DVD. Went to my computer to see if i there's an eject opinion (i believe there used to be... somewhere). Couldn't find, close my computer... not responding. Explorer crashes. Force reboot.
Try putting the movie on external HDD. Oh, hey, a corrupt file. Let's do a disk check, nothing harmful in that, right? Cancel disk check in half way since it took too much time. HDD is not being recognized. Unplug and plug in several times, each with different result. Manages to lose internal hdd drive D icon and connection icon (connected, but icon says 'not'). Won't pay much attention to it. Do a restart. Plug in the HDD, works.
Copied the movie over to external HDD. Wanted to check so i could play from android tablet with HDMI to TV. MXPlayer didn't know how to play that file (.mp4, not sure in what codec encoded, worked in PC though). That's where i was like "fuck it" and came to write this.
Apart from that, yesterday i had pretty good control over fire.
Today, i attempted to push over a pencil at school. It didn't fall, but created a lot of distortions. It felt as it was bending rather than moving. Lights have been flickering as well.
Had a plant moved to my room yesterday. Mom said that it was dying for no reason. I'm going to try healing from time to time. This night i saw that the plant had nearly died. It was brownish, but still was alive.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
I found an awesome anime....REAL AWESOME ANIME!
I have no idea for how long i had this anime in my list, but now that i watched first episode, it REALLY got me hooked.
It's called "Shinsekai yori" or "From the new world" in English. The anime talks about Post-PK world.
Long story short: Modern day people learn PK which leads to world war which then leads to annihilation of most of the population. After hundreds of years later, people who survived, have rebuilt a village where they can learn these abilities, but there's a dark secret behind to that.
We refer to it as PK, they refer to it as "force" or "gravity".
I love this anime already because i believe the same thing will occur years from now. There's no way we can all co-exist with one another with such power. There will be a war, most die and we start again.
IF YOU HAVE TIME, PLEASE WATCH NOW:
http://www.gogoanime.com/shinsekai-yori-episode-1
Just 4 minutes into the anime, isn't this what we are doing (except the sealing part)?
I'm on episode 4 and it's made SUCH a build up to the story that it feels like i've been watching for least 20-30 episodes. It gets really awesome.
It's called "Shinsekai yori" or "From the new world" in English. The anime talks about Post-PK world.
Long story short: Modern day people learn PK which leads to world war which then leads to annihilation of most of the population. After hundreds of years later, people who survived, have rebuilt a village where they can learn these abilities, but there's a dark secret behind to that.
We refer to it as PK, they refer to it as "force" or "gravity".
I love this anime already because i believe the same thing will occur years from now. There's no way we can all co-exist with one another with such power. There will be a war, most die and we start again.
IF YOU HAVE TIME, PLEASE WATCH NOW:
http://www.gogoanime.com/shinsekai-yori-episode-1
Just 4 minutes into the anime, isn't this what we are doing (except the sealing part)?
I'm on episode 4 and it's made SUCH a build up to the story that it feels like i've been watching for least 20-30 episodes. It gets really awesome.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Dream log: Faint
After some biofield and syncroncity training yesterday (flame), i did white skeletal meditation. Lots of vivid images. When i tried to see em', i got kicked out.
Attempted OBE, turned to side.
In a dream, i am at school, watching my friend play "Dead Island". I said "Stop, there's a guy behind there". He asked "Where?".Suddenly I started to lose consciousness -- my body felt so tired. I wanted to say:"Call help" but i couldn't say a word. "This is how it feels like, huh?", i said in my mind. Vision going darker by the second, i took up my will and fought it. I slowly regained control over my body. Woke up from the dream with thirst. Took a zip of cola that i keep next to my bed (since i wake up often at night). Back to sleep. Wake up again, feeling cold. Managed to fall asleep. After a while, woke up again due to the same problem.
I don't usually get cold. My feet and hands are ice cold all the time, yet it doesn't bother me. Wonder what that was about.
Also, mom asked our family doctor today about my heart. She said that i might have 3-rd heart beat. Can't say if it's true or not. The medicine that i was given, makes me feel ill. "Metaprolool", that's what it consists. Doesn't seem to work not one bit at all.
Attempted OBE, turned to side.
In a dream, i am at school, watching my friend play "Dead Island". I said "Stop, there's a guy behind there". He asked "Where?".Suddenly I started to lose consciousness -- my body felt so tired. I wanted to say:"Call help" but i couldn't say a word. "This is how it feels like, huh?", i said in my mind. Vision going darker by the second, i took up my will and fought it. I slowly regained control over my body. Woke up from the dream with thirst. Took a zip of cola that i keep next to my bed (since i wake up often at night). Back to sleep. Wake up again, feeling cold. Managed to fall asleep. After a while, woke up again due to the same problem.
I don't usually get cold. My feet and hands are ice cold all the time, yet it doesn't bother me. Wonder what that was about.
Also, mom asked our family doctor today about my heart. She said that i might have 3-rd heart beat. Can't say if it's true or not. The medicine that i was given, makes me feel ill. "Metaprolool", that's what it consists. Doesn't seem to work not one bit at all.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Just a random update
Lots of deja vu's. Created fields of restoration around schools plants since they are in such bad shape. Tried reviving near-withered plant. Noticed that it barely had any energy left when compared with other nearby plants. Pin-pointed the energy channels and moved my own energy through it and left some there. Found it interesting.
Have been trying to move a ping pong ball (when will comes). So far, no significant movement. I keep losing my will after a couple of minutes.
Crazy heat after PE lesson today (barely did anything). Took the ping pong ball that i carry from my pocket, focused energy there and it got hot. It was still warm after 2 lessons. It's odd how energy does do what i want, yet does not work with TK. No matter what technique.
//
I got a weird ... uhh... obsession? over sharp things. I REALLY like swords, knifes etc. At winters, i used to go out every day, build snowmen and cut em into hundreds of pieces with my homemade sword. I found it fun how things slowed down when i concentrated on them (hightened reflexes). Throw multiple things in air and hit them least twice. Most people consider me to be weird, but to me, it's really fun. To observe, to direct energy and strike with mind, rather than with physical strength. Like cutting thumb length thick ice blocks with a sword that will bend at any wrong move.
That reminds that i used to go out with -15C barefoot on snow and ice, for no apparent reason. You get used to it, if you focus on heat instead of cold.
Have been trying to move a ping pong ball (when will comes). So far, no significant movement. I keep losing my will after a couple of minutes.
Crazy heat after PE lesson today (barely did anything). Took the ping pong ball that i carry from my pocket, focused energy there and it got hot. It was still warm after 2 lessons. It's odd how energy does do what i want, yet does not work with TK. No matter what technique.
//
I got a weird ... uhh... obsession? over sharp things. I REALLY like swords, knifes etc. At winters, i used to go out every day, build snowmen and cut em into hundreds of pieces with my homemade sword. I found it fun how things slowed down when i concentrated on them (hightened reflexes). Throw multiple things in air and hit them least twice. Most people consider me to be weird, but to me, it's really fun. To observe, to direct energy and strike with mind, rather than with physical strength. Like cutting thumb length thick ice blocks with a sword that will bend at any wrong move.
That reminds that i used to go out with -15C barefoot on snow and ice, for no apparent reason. You get used to it, if you focus on heat instead of cold.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Dreams and geisting
I was just watching "Night Head Genesis" ... not sure what episode (around 11 or so). It's about people with powers with pretty much the same society like we have right now (even if you prove it, they find excuses). Just after Naoto blows windows, along with the enemies who control other people, out of the building, his brother Naoya senses that the building they were sent to as kids, was on fire. At that point, my touch pad went nuts again. It froze and had noise as sound. Force a restart and hope everything's OK. It was.
Lately, i've been getting the feeling as i could learn whatever i want, meanwhile a week ago or so, my mind really rejected that thought. The pains have as well gone down (though i still experience them at cold mornings... not sure why. Somehow linked to it)
Standing in the line at school cafeteria, i was waiting to get my food. There were cups. I was really sure i could move them, and probably could have if i had concentrated for long enough. The PK timings are real bad.
Dreams have been bit weird. Can't exactly remember all of them. Gonna have to start improving my awareness again.
From one dream, i remember digging up the sand-pit (that our neighbors use), finding lots of ancient things. I remember finding some plastic bags (mainly chips), that were from around 1960. I said:"Oh, those are mine. I used to eat them.". Somehow it made sense to me, even knowing, i hadn't been born before 1995.
Dream follows onto a basement where i remember sensing people, but not seeing them. I think it was some sort of a bunker. It was dark but i saw boxes of stuff. From there on, onto another dream, where i remember seeing, or rather should i say, being in some kind of a facility. It was huge, rather well lit. It was some sort of testing facility. I remember seeing pods that looked like straight out of a movie. There was something to do with a small girl too. I'm not sure what. From that point, the dream got random. I took up a game menu and pressed "Exit" and the dream ended.
P.S. These error messages about "saving the document" are really annoying. Wonder what's up with that.
Lately, i've been getting the feeling as i could learn whatever i want, meanwhile a week ago or so, my mind really rejected that thought. The pains have as well gone down (though i still experience them at cold mornings... not sure why. Somehow linked to it)
Standing in the line at school cafeteria, i was waiting to get my food. There were cups. I was really sure i could move them, and probably could have if i had concentrated for long enough. The PK timings are real bad.
Dreams have been bit weird. Can't exactly remember all of them. Gonna have to start improving my awareness again.
From one dream, i remember digging up the sand-pit (that our neighbors use), finding lots of ancient things. I remember finding some plastic bags (mainly chips), that were from around 1960. I said:"Oh, those are mine. I used to eat them.". Somehow it made sense to me, even knowing, i hadn't been born before 1995.
Dream follows onto a basement where i remember sensing people, but not seeing them. I think it was some sort of a bunker. It was dark but i saw boxes of stuff. From there on, onto another dream, where i remember seeing, or rather should i say, being in some kind of a facility. It was huge, rather well lit. It was some sort of testing facility. I remember seeing pods that looked like straight out of a movie. There was something to do with a small girl too. I'm not sure what. From that point, the dream got random. I took up a game menu and pressed "Exit" and the dream ended.
P.S. These error messages about "saving the document" are really annoying. Wonder what's up with that.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Dream logs: Asylum and Can't control my powers
I clearly remember the dream where i was wanted to up to the asylum. The clearest moment is where i ran around a table, away from a doctor. We were laughing, in a very joy-ous (happy) mood. She said: "You must really like being insane" to which i replied:"Then you must really like your job". (She likes "insane" people, i like being "insane". Then again, define insane and it only means thinking differently than others).
Later that night, i remember a dream where i hide underneath my blanket, try to control myself, but can't. Someone was creating things using my abilities, and there was nothing i could do. I tried my best, nothing. The inability to control my powers, lead to great disasters.
---
General log:
Coming home from the shop with my mom, it was quite dark already. I noticed the street lamp right in front of our house was dead again (which i tried to kill months ago, but had no visible success... except slight pulsing). I shouted it out. She then told me it went off months ago. I let out a quiet laugh. She asked why i laughed. I explained that the more you train with similar objects, the easier it is to create a connection to objects. Once made, it becomes part of you and has effects to it even if not consciously trying to do it. Then she said this:" Then if you are so powerful, heal my pains". I said:"I'm not powerful at all, in fact. It's just a matter of concentration. Either way, i don't want to... yet. I haven't tried healing other people, nor can detect the origin of the pain".
Another weird thing was that i saw "duplicates" today, at school. It was math lesson, saw some of my classmates sitting outside. Went inside, they were there. I could still hear the voices come from outside though.
Oh, and at the first lesson today, entering the school, i came across a person who seemingly was identical to certain someone whom i speak through facebook, from England. I held the door open and both of us were like telepathically speaking:"No, go ahead, i got time." "No, no. I'm good too." That went on for at least 4-5 seconds until i gave her the gesture of "go ahead". It's either that the ethics (i don't follow them) have fallen to the floor or she was just scared of me lol. Either way, it was awkward just standing there, neither of us budging to move. :P
Later that night, i remember a dream where i hide underneath my blanket, try to control myself, but can't. Someone was creating things using my abilities, and there was nothing i could do. I tried my best, nothing. The inability to control my powers, lead to great disasters.
---
General log:
Coming home from the shop with my mom, it was quite dark already. I noticed the street lamp right in front of our house was dead again (which i tried to kill months ago, but had no visible success... except slight pulsing). I shouted it out. She then told me it went off months ago. I let out a quiet laugh. She asked why i laughed. I explained that the more you train with similar objects, the easier it is to create a connection to objects. Once made, it becomes part of you and has effects to it even if not consciously trying to do it. Then she said this:" Then if you are so powerful, heal my pains". I said:"I'm not powerful at all, in fact. It's just a matter of concentration. Either way, i don't want to... yet. I haven't tried healing other people, nor can detect the origin of the pain".
Another weird thing was that i saw "duplicates" today, at school. It was math lesson, saw some of my classmates sitting outside. Went inside, they were there. I could still hear the voices come from outside though.
Oh, and at the first lesson today, entering the school, i came across a person who seemingly was identical to certain someone whom i speak through facebook, from England. I held the door open and both of us were like telepathically speaking:"No, go ahead, i got time." "No, no. I'm good too." That went on for at least 4-5 seconds until i gave her the gesture of "go ahead". It's either that the ethics (i don't follow them) have fallen to the floor or she was just scared of me lol. Either way, it was awkward just standing there, neither of us budging to move. :P
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Conquer fears, get more of them.
It's the second day I've experienced some nightmares with purpose.
Yesterday, i remember "hugging" the ground out of fear. The damn stairs to second floor still are the scariest things to me. I somewhat wanted to conquer fears, so what the hell (even tho I've at most got to sleep for 4 hours, that is today and yesterday).
Today, i remember walking blindly in the dark, trying to get home on purely on instinct. I did succeed, yet again. Those. Damn. Stairs.
Also, after waking tons of times from nightmares, i remember seeing a certain pattern on vision. It was something like "S" and eye like. Also, a pattern consisting in 2 equal stripes and alternating in 1.
Have been making myself a joke because i keep reading things wrong. Things change right before my eyes. In Estonian class, i was asked to put commas in correct places. I managed to mistake "America" for "Africa". Numbers also have changed. 4 -> 3, 7. 3 -> 9, 2. and so on. I can easily read things from far away. Guess someone's messin' with me.
Also, today, things have managed to disappear and re-appear without me finding it. I usually carry ear puds (headphones), in my pocket. Wanted to listen to music while doing a test on Java scripting. One of the puds was gone. Turned the pocket inside out, nothing. At home, checked it again, nothing. Now checked AGAIN, and there it was. I clearly couldn't miss it twice (i checked thoroughly!), without it falling out, so how the hell?
Yesterday, i remember "hugging" the ground out of fear. The damn stairs to second floor still are the scariest things to me. I somewhat wanted to conquer fears, so what the hell (even tho I've at most got to sleep for 4 hours, that is today and yesterday).
Today, i remember walking blindly in the dark, trying to get home on purely on instinct. I did succeed, yet again. Those. Damn. Stairs.
Also, after waking tons of times from nightmares, i remember seeing a certain pattern on vision. It was something like "S" and eye like. Also, a pattern consisting in 2 equal stripes and alternating in 1.
Have been making myself a joke because i keep reading things wrong. Things change right before my eyes. In Estonian class, i was asked to put commas in correct places. I managed to mistake "America" for "Africa". Numbers also have changed. 4 -> 3, 7. 3 -> 9, 2. and so on. I can easily read things from far away. Guess someone's messin' with me.
Also, today, things have managed to disappear and re-appear without me finding it. I usually carry ear puds (headphones), in my pocket. Wanted to listen to music while doing a test on Java scripting. One of the puds was gone. Turned the pocket inside out, nothing. At home, checked it again, nothing. Now checked AGAIN, and there it was. I clearly couldn't miss it twice (i checked thoroughly!), without it falling out, so how the hell?
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Weird dreams, once again.
Today's dreams i had were completely negative. They were somewhat answers to my problems. I cannot quite remember them. It needs some sort of trigger. Either way, what seems weird to me now, is why i didn't quit them. I just went through with them like nothing.
Other than that, there have been some weird phenomena going on, that i wanted to write about.
On thursday, 5-th lessons end (business processes), we were supposed to write our opinions on LEAN and Six sigma. I was already finished with it. I noticed how the sun light vibrated (literally). It went lighter and darker rapidly like one of those old CRT TV's. The other's didn't seem to notice even when they looked at it directly. No idea why.
Further into the lesson, i was training auric sight, PK and telepathy. Noticed an entity go to a back room, door slightly moved.
Went to Rakvere yesterday. Some people were hungry so we decided to get something to eat and drink. I decided to take a coffee with a lot of sugar and milk. The coffee was terrible. It was only a small cup but i couldn't drink more than half of it... and even that by forcing myself. Later that backfired. My system was thrown upside down. Heart rate went down to 70 (Instead of rising, mine goes down), hands started freezing (they are ALWAYS cold, but never sense any negative sensation) and got chills all over my body. Also remember feeling really dizzy and nearly fell over in a hallway. Note to self: Never ever drink coffee from a shop again.
Mom went to a doctor, had tons of time.I was outside, practicing different kinds of sight abilities. Auric sight the most. The other's were: space & time distortions, radiation and sound. Oh, and telepathy again. There was a pigeon observing from a rooftop, i attempted to call it down. It flew away instead...
Other than that, there have been some weird phenomena going on, that i wanted to write about.
On thursday, 5-th lessons end (business processes), we were supposed to write our opinions on LEAN and Six sigma. I was already finished with it. I noticed how the sun light vibrated (literally). It went lighter and darker rapidly like one of those old CRT TV's. The other's didn't seem to notice even when they looked at it directly. No idea why.
Further into the lesson, i was training auric sight, PK and telepathy. Noticed an entity go to a back room, door slightly moved.
Went to Rakvere yesterday. Some people were hungry so we decided to get something to eat and drink. I decided to take a coffee with a lot of sugar and milk. The coffee was terrible. It was only a small cup but i couldn't drink more than half of it... and even that by forcing myself. Later that backfired. My system was thrown upside down. Heart rate went down to 70 (Instead of rising, mine goes down), hands started freezing (they are ALWAYS cold, but never sense any negative sensation) and got chills all over my body. Also remember feeling really dizzy and nearly fell over in a hallway. Note to self: Never ever drink coffee from a shop again.
Mom went to a doctor, had tons of time.I was outside, practicing different kinds of sight abilities. Auric sight the most. The other's were: space & time distortions, radiation and sound. Oh, and telepathy again. There was a pigeon observing from a rooftop, i attempted to call it down. It flew away instead...
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Over-stressed
It has been... 2-3 (?) days since the dream. The pain hasn't gone down, it has only gone up. I've lost nearly all my will and motivation. I don't feel hungry. I don't want to speak to nearly anyone.
In the last days, i've had lots of school work (especially stuff about economics, business etc. We are supposed to read a ton of text, which i can't understand at all, so i don't read it at all and answer with pure logic). Classmates whine about tiny problems. They never know how to do something or solve it. They never think on their own. Facebook, facebook, facebook. That's all they know. Had to do a clean up on a damn old computer, which booted up for over 3 min (probably RAM problem). Launched a portable program from USB for over 2min. I was literally sleeping behind the computer.
In other words, i've been heavily depressed.
Then again, it didn't only come with negative sides. I've lately found the capability to near-instantly "program" a will into myself. For example, saying in my mind "silence" or "shutdown" to kill off everything in my mind. In order to program, the will must be precise. For hypnogogia i use the command *thought* + "initiate", and pretty much instantly, i get OBE vibes and weak hypnogogia.
I visualize the "programming" process as a menu, where i can make anything or anyone do anything. Kinda like floating GUI and selecting by thought alone.
Either way, this has been most what i've been up to.
In the last days, i've had lots of school work (especially stuff about economics, business etc. We are supposed to read a ton of text, which i can't understand at all, so i don't read it at all and answer with pure logic). Classmates whine about tiny problems. They never know how to do something or solve it. They never think on their own. Facebook, facebook, facebook. That's all they know. Had to do a clean up on a damn old computer, which booted up for over 3 min (probably RAM problem). Launched a portable program from USB for over 2min. I was literally sleeping behind the computer.
In other words, i've been heavily depressed.
Then again, it didn't only come with negative sides. I've lately found the capability to near-instantly "program" a will into myself. For example, saying in my mind "silence" or "shutdown" to kill off everything in my mind. In order to program, the will must be precise. For hypnogogia i use the command *thought* + "initiate", and pretty much instantly, i get OBE vibes and weak hypnogogia.
I visualize the "programming" process as a menu, where i can make anything or anyone do anything. Kinda like floating GUI and selecting by thought alone.
Either way, this has been most what i've been up to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)