Problems around every corner...

Whatever i may do, it grows so stressful. Even when i don't do anything, the stress keeps growing. I'm getting scared, that whatever i may touch, will go off in flames.
Even when i watch the LCD screen (no matter what LCD) it starts to flicker a little, then my attention grows to that and so does geisting. Soon enough, i can see the refresh rate of the screen.

This isn't only with electronics. No matter what, i get scared. I feel guilt growing every second. The thought, that frequently pops into my mind is that i would like to get away from everything and everyone. I may be running away from the problem, but at least this way, i won't end up destroying things...

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Edit: Down i hit again. 21:11, 23.12.2013... feeling shit as hell again. I should mark these events down.

The only thing that seems to make it better is not talking to anyone and embrace it at it's fullest. Recall a dream, and gain happiness from it.

http://pkalar.blogspot.com/2013/07/dream-log-i-have-no-words-to-describe.html
Second part of the dream... it still warms my heart. I guess this block of ice still has some warmth to it.

Thank you, for once again, little girl.
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Right! I'll use this little positivity that i have to write down today's dreams.


Dream log: The end of Earth and the New Earth

It wasn't quite randomly generated environment. It took off straight away from what people called 'New Earth'. This planet had 3 suns and the average temperature was around 40C. Days did not last very long, around 12 hours. There wasn't much life. I come across some people... they were part of a cult. When i spoke to them, they wanted me to join. I asked "Why?", which they replied "Because we need money to get off this planet". On that planet, there were only very few people. Hundreds, at most. They were paid to stay together. Some used that money to build homes, others, to find life outside this planet. I asked few more questions. "What happened to the 'old earth'?" ... "Solar flare". The planet lasted for 30 millenniums (i don't know from what or from when), and this (New Earth, not this one) will only exist for 40 millenniums.
From that point, it got a little random. Looking up, i saw 3 suns. One large (I'd say about the size of 3-4 times our current sun, when you look to the sky), medium (still bigger than the current one) and a small one (it was giving off white-ish light). Sky was orange.  They arrangement was somewhat similar to this:

Further one from this point, it's useless to write it down. It got totally random and distorted. I do not remember clearly, either.