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Saturday, May 2, 2015

Update of 2.02.2015

Another fear resurfaces -- The fear of time.
Last night, I wanted to 'search' for my handicapped friend, who hasn't shown up nowhere for past 2 weeks. Tried to visualize, but everything kept changing as if it was designed by a motion designer. It had a dark tone to it. Forced the theme to go to current point and rewind back to the start of the day with absolute details. The speed of which things flew past, was immense. I could comprehend everything, yet it was scary to me. It made the past time look so pesky. The whole day flew past in less than 5 minutes. It all looked as a speed up clip, only thing is, that you could stop at any given point of time and remember/know everything.
At one point, I had forgotten what I was supposed to do. Mind had wondered off. Had to force myself to sleep, because I had the constant feeling that I was living ahead of my own time.

Had a bit different dream today. Something to do with digging up the ground and 3 guys forcing me to memorize some sort of street. "5 **********, 6 minutes" or something like that. Even made a notion to them that "I have been living here for years, do you think I wouldn't know where it is?".
After that was what seemed as Tallinn. Some sort of restaurant at where me and others (I think there were?) drunk some coffee. Then back home with a bus, barely had any money to pay it, whereas, others didn't have to pay. 

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