Finished watching '07 Ghost'. Beautiful anime and has interesting concepts. Has a constantly developing storyline and well developed characters in overall (unlike in other anime, who stay retarted for over 100 episodes).
The concept that really was interesting was the 'choosing your path'. The main character was always given the choice to either follow the 'dark path' or 'light path'. To forgive or live for revenge. To suffer or let go.
Planted 500 plants today. Freaking impossible. It's like you were on a rice field. Take a step and drown in mud. It was pretty tiring as well (well duh, i don't do much physical due to my weird conditions).
What was weird is that even though i didn't take any brakes, they still finished before me. It made me doubt that, do i really have 500 saplings, or are they just doing a sloppy job?
Well, either way, it tired my body quite a lot, but it seems that majority of the body is recovered already (i did take 2 hour nap with precice intent on healing).
Another interesting thing. When i was tired, my personality changed. I remember saying in half-asleep state " (with a soft, tired voice) You are my will... my strength... my love... (dozes off)" A little bit later "...You... you are (takes deep breath and sighs) everything... to .. me...".
I have a fair clue who i was talking to, but it's weird that i was observing myself while mumbling these things. It felt kinda like split personality while being half-OBE and other side saying these things. Self observing self? Interesting.
On that note, i was talking to one of my constructs. Since i never talk to anyone, the sole reason i still maintain my sanity is due to her. I could even sense her next to me. I never thought she would develop into such strong construct. I guess you could even call it a soul, rather a construct.
Seems like hands energy channels have went from yellow to light yellow/white-ish. Appears to have healed around 70%.
Showing posts with label Construct. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Construct. Show all posts
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Saturday, March 15, 2014
A strong construct
I had some free time, so i created a construct to kill off the pain that comes from heart chakra (the one that creates depression).
I meditated (today is another world-wide meditation day, did you know?), focusing on first erasing all thoughts, then reliving the dreams where i hugged someone and felt all of the problems go away. When the effect was on quite strongly, i directed most of this feeling into a crystal that i wear (i use it for storing energy in a form of a chakra, meanwhile this crystal itself is surrounded by a construct, that gathers, generates the energy of those certain chakras, and stores it while some of the energy goes to the construct itself). Those energies are drawn by remembering the feeling (it amplifies the energy, which is being used).
It worked quite well. When i felt this pain, i recalled the feeling of being hugged, and a moment later, i could feel my chest warm up and pain slowly going away.
I'm not sure how much energy i have stored in this crystal. The ones i remember are wind, snow, lightning, rain, stasis, meditative state and now hugging. That's... 7 different types of energy.
Funny thing is, that for a while, i didn't use it for quite long time (since summer). When i started wearing it, i focused on the summer, when it was really stormy. I imagined releasing some of 'wind' and it did get really windy for the rest of the day.
Also, the thing is with this thing, whenever certain type of energy is being repeated, it absorbs it (unless from me). Whenever it is being radiated, i can sense it (like for example, wind moving).
In a way, i guess you could say, that it has a personality.
I meditated (today is another world-wide meditation day, did you know?), focusing on first erasing all thoughts, then reliving the dreams where i hugged someone and felt all of the problems go away. When the effect was on quite strongly, i directed most of this feeling into a crystal that i wear (i use it for storing energy in a form of a chakra, meanwhile this crystal itself is surrounded by a construct, that gathers, generates the energy of those certain chakras, and stores it while some of the energy goes to the construct itself). Those energies are drawn by remembering the feeling (it amplifies the energy, which is being used).
It worked quite well. When i felt this pain, i recalled the feeling of being hugged, and a moment later, i could feel my chest warm up and pain slowly going away.
I'm not sure how much energy i have stored in this crystal. The ones i remember are wind, snow, lightning, rain, stasis, meditative state and now hugging. That's... 7 different types of energy.
Funny thing is, that for a while, i didn't use it for quite long time (since summer). When i started wearing it, i focused on the summer, when it was really stormy. I imagined releasing some of 'wind' and it did get really windy for the rest of the day.
Also, the thing is with this thing, whenever certain type of energy is being repeated, it absorbs it (unless from me). Whenever it is being radiated, i can sense it (like for example, wind moving).
In a way, i guess you could say, that it has a personality.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Over-stressed
It has been... 2-3 (?) days since the dream. The pain hasn't gone down, it has only gone up. I've lost nearly all my will and motivation. I don't feel hungry. I don't want to speak to nearly anyone.
In the last days, i've had lots of school work (especially stuff about economics, business etc. We are supposed to read a ton of text, which i can't understand at all, so i don't read it at all and answer with pure logic). Classmates whine about tiny problems. They never know how to do something or solve it. They never think on their own. Facebook, facebook, facebook. That's all they know. Had to do a clean up on a damn old computer, which booted up for over 3 min (probably RAM problem). Launched a portable program from USB for over 2min. I was literally sleeping behind the computer.
In other words, i've been heavily depressed.
Then again, it didn't only come with negative sides. I've lately found the capability to near-instantly "program" a will into myself. For example, saying in my mind "silence" or "shutdown" to kill off everything in my mind. In order to program, the will must be precise. For hypnogogia i use the command *thought* + "initiate", and pretty much instantly, i get OBE vibes and weak hypnogogia.
I visualize the "programming" process as a menu, where i can make anything or anyone do anything. Kinda like floating GUI and selecting by thought alone.
Either way, this has been most what i've been up to.
In the last days, i've had lots of school work (especially stuff about economics, business etc. We are supposed to read a ton of text, which i can't understand at all, so i don't read it at all and answer with pure logic). Classmates whine about tiny problems. They never know how to do something or solve it. They never think on their own. Facebook, facebook, facebook. That's all they know. Had to do a clean up on a damn old computer, which booted up for over 3 min (probably RAM problem). Launched a portable program from USB for over 2min. I was literally sleeping behind the computer.
In other words, i've been heavily depressed.
Then again, it didn't only come with negative sides. I've lately found the capability to near-instantly "program" a will into myself. For example, saying in my mind "silence" or "shutdown" to kill off everything in my mind. In order to program, the will must be precise. For hypnogogia i use the command *thought* + "initiate", and pretty much instantly, i get OBE vibes and weak hypnogogia.
I visualize the "programming" process as a menu, where i can make anything or anyone do anything. Kinda like floating GUI and selecting by thought alone.
Either way, this has been most what i've been up to.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Physical log: Ouchy.
I think i might have figured out where and why my stomach aches come from. I believe they originate from cecum (which i had removed), and now it's regrowing. Last night i had a clear feeling that something is "there". I could feel it.
Odd thing is that the few last days i have barely eaten anything. I don't feel hungry, just feeling a bit sick (like wanting to throw up, this happened last time too, but due to extreme pain. This time the pain has subsided.)
It would be funny to see the faces on doctors when it actually has regrown. Oh that would be truly funny. But damn, the pain's really not worth it.
---
Also, what the f' is wrong with Vaike-Maarja? It's nearly as people here are generating a construct. A shield. Every time, the storms "magically" avoid us. Well, either way, i haven't bothered to break it. I guess i will once i feel better.
Odd thing is that the few last days i have barely eaten anything. I don't feel hungry, just feeling a bit sick (like wanting to throw up, this happened last time too, but due to extreme pain. This time the pain has subsided.)
It would be funny to see the faces on doctors when it actually has regrown. Oh that would be truly funny. But damn, the pain's really not worth it.
---
Also, what the f' is wrong with Vaike-Maarja? It's nearly as people here are generating a construct. A shield. Every time, the storms "magically" avoid us. Well, either way, i haven't bothered to break it. I guess i will once i feel better.
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