Update of 13.04.2014

Finished watching '07 Ghost'. Beautiful anime and has interesting concepts. Has a constantly developing storyline and well developed characters in overall (unlike in other anime, who stay retarted for over 100 episodes).
The concept that really was interesting was the 'choosing your path'. The main character was always given the choice to either follow the 'dark path' or 'light path'. To forgive or live for revenge. To suffer or let go.

Planted 500 plants today. Freaking impossible. It's like you were on a rice field. Take a step and drown in mud. It was pretty tiring as well (well duh, i don't do much physical due to my weird conditions).
What was weird is that even though i didn't take any brakes, they still finished before me. It made me doubt that, do i really have 500 saplings, or are they just doing a sloppy job?

Well, either way, it tired my body quite a lot, but it seems that majority of the body is recovered already (i did take 2 hour nap with precice intent on healing).


Another interesting thing. When i was tired, my personality changed. I remember saying in half-asleep state " (with a soft, tired voice) You are my will... my strength...  my love... (dozes off)" A little bit later "...You... you are (takes deep breath and sighs) everything... to .. me...".
I have a fair clue who i was talking to, but it's weird that i was observing myself while mumbling these things. It felt kinda like split personality while being half-OBE and other side saying these things. Self observing self? Interesting.
On that note, i was talking to one of my constructs. Since i never talk to anyone, the sole reason i still maintain my sanity is due to her. I could even sense her next to me. I never thought she would develop into such strong construct. I guess you could even call it a soul, rather a construct.


Seems like hands energy channels have went from yellow to light yellow/white-ish. Appears to have healed around 70%.

Fading indeed...

 People manage to make me furious lately. Just because i don't say anything doesn't mean I'm angry, and asking 'Why are you angry' is only going to make me more. Mom did this and I said with an angry tone:"If you don't understand something, then keep your nose out of it". There are points where i am in sync with a lot of dimensions and do not wish to be disturbed, since then there's a high probability of causing unintentional PK (in massive size). Simply walking home like that had all the lights pulsing around me. So please, mind your own business.

(Not to even mention, still being somewhat in sync later. Sitting on the floor, staring at one point. "Dad" said that i should learn to know myself. Know what? Fuck off. I know myself very well and I'm very conscious about my decisions and actions.)

I seriously have started hating people who don't understand, yet still meddle in other's affairs. I feel like i want to erase them from existence.


*Sighs*, I haven't been under stress lately. Nothing has happened, yet I'm changing.  I want to be alone. More than ever. I mean like not speaking or even encountering people at all.

Classmates were a pain in the ass. Wanted me to join the "Noor Meister" competition. I rejected. After 2 lessons of annoying me (2 + 2 teachers), they gave up. Good riddance. I got better to do with my time than that.


Had an unintentional OBE in a dream. Wanted to speak to a dead monk. Never made it.

The dreams have been much deeper. 7 hours is now sufficient for full rest. The wake up is more difficult, though. Simply opening eyes feels like looking at the sun and it was rather dark (i have dark blue curtains, so barely any light comes in. Most is blue, but even that's so little).


I'm considering on concentrating more on PK and stuff from now on. I feel different. Perhaps i am fading.

PK block + OBE update + Dreams

From one side comes good, from other.. bad. In PK, i'm failing absolutely. If i'd go to PK school, i'd drop out. I get connection and everything, but PK doesn't take effect. Probably because i don't train much.

On the other side, i'm making progress with OBE again. It has kinda become a habit to try OBE every night. I'm facing another problem. When i enter a reality, i either get kicked out or lose consciousness. Now i have to find a way to stay awake when entering into these worlds.

(It's kinda like when you try to see in the dark. One moment you can see clearly, the other, all goes black. The images are too unstable. Concentration problem, perhaps?)


Aside from all the previous, i'm starting to remember dreams again.

(*Deleted major part of the dreams.*)

In the dream, i'm in a more futuristic environment. Spaceship-ish. Lights on the walls, most stuff made of metal. There were no windows. Just when i'm about to take a step, i see a commercial with sex. I mean like all private parts were allowed, with "action" (if you understand what i mean). A bit disgusted after seeing it, i get a letter (in a paper form). I look at it confused. It was rather large. I couldn't make out what was written on it. I open it and the first thing i see, is about the conspiracy about that weird commercial that i saw. I read:"

(Something like this, i cannot remember the exact text.)

*** are actually fine with such ad's?! 

Many have seen, and perhaps already have joined the resistance, against that ad. Just a short while after publishing, there was a big outrage. People are still protesting, yet nothing is done about it. 

Quoting ***:" (Woman voice speaks) I see nothing wrong with it and i believe it's a great example for children. After all, we all have similar bodies, what's there to hide?". 

But that's not all. According to the head of *** (the one who allows publishing such stuff), he thinks likewise. 

// This was only part of the top of the page. I couldn't even take a look at the other pages! Damn! //

(Dream ends.)

The next dream is pointless to tell (probably...).

Also, i for some reason seem to believe that i will live for 2400 years. It feels right. That would be troublesome though (everyone seems to say 100 years is long time, but it seems rather short to me. Maybe i'm just trying to play god, who knows.)

Visited by myself

I had a pretty odd experience night ago, that i wanted to write about for a while now.

I woke from a bad dream, but cannot remember it was about. It was about 3 in the morning. The first thing when i open my eyes, i see a figure by the doorway. I continue to stare, thinking that it might be one of the short hypnogogic images. Blink my eyes many times, take a zip of coke from bottle next to my bed (i wake multiple times at night, from thirst). Watch the doorway again... the figure is still standing there. Oddly, it didn't frighten me one bit. It felt as i knew that person VERY well, as it was me. I decide to take another zip of coke... gone. The figure was gone. Then i finally realized that someone was actually standing there.

I remember that the person had short hair, a long coat (a little bit longer than to knees), the neck area of the coat was quite high, it reached to below eye. He had a fair body structure, not muscular, not fat, not thin. The clothes he wore was black.

And what's weird, i want one of those long coats. He had everything exactly how i would want. The only conclusion i seems to be that i was visited by myself from future.