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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Update of 13.08.2014

I think i saw some version of Sussch in my dreams today. Something to do with a motor. He left it on for too long at it sorta flew at us while we hid behind a cupboard lol. Dunno. It was sorta plain dream. Just when i thought i would make a plane crash (at me), the goddamn alarm goes off. Grr. You won this round, alarm.
The dream Sussch didn't match this Sussch. The personality was kinda strange. Kinda boss-y like. Oh well.

Yesterday night, I played guitar. Again, 00:00. It always falls on that time.
When i plugged everything in, there was strange noise. It was as if someone was whispering something, but the background noise was too big. Tried moving the cable around. Nothing. Turned volume up and down and then it was gone. Odd.

I've come to the conclusion that I have some sort of split personality with bi-polarity case. As my mood changes, my personality changes tremendously. When i play games, i'm totally outgoing because it's fun. When PK related stuff, i become grumpy (since no emotion and thought, and any disturbance only adds fuel to the fire). Sometimes, even the tiniest things set me off. Especially if the case is hatred, I become to fear myself. Take a gruesome psychopath out of a movie or anime, and that's what you got. I'm not afraid of becoming it, but the fact that I enjoy it and cannot control it.


I'm gonna end this post with a song with a great melody and lyrics (though, needs more growls):
Soulfallen - We are the sand




1 comment:

  1. "The dream Sussch didn't match this Sussch. The personality was kinda strange. Kinda boss-y like."

    That's one of my fears. Found it just yesterday. I'm afraid of mediumship.
    When I really enjoy doing something (and doing it well), I can often tell that it's not me doing it. It's someone else doing it through me. So, somewhat subconsciously I'm afraid of doing well and enjoying it - I become alienated by myself (can't recognize myself).

    Although in theory I have accepted the ideology of sharing one body with a whole bunch of people, I haven't fully accepted it.

    In any case, I don't match myself and my personality varies greatly. I enjoy observing people, trying to see the world from their perspective. This causes my viewpoints, thought patterns, actions to change very often. I am many people and many people are me.

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