Painting the 'leaning girl'... (sighs)

I despise my own painting skills. Like I said earlier, I can 'copy' others skills, but I cannot 'create' something new without full understanding. My 'style', is simply a combination of styles i've seen.
This meaning, I cannot fuse manga with what I currently have, especially the face. I've seen others drawings, but I cannot understand how.
(My learning process: External stimuli -> Reverse / break down -> Analyze -> Reconstruct)

And I have a tendency to use too much colors.

So, I gave up on the background.

(Flips table), fuck this. I'm not painting for a while again.

The life of a fucking perfectionist. (sighs)