This pain is driving me insane.

Yesterday it was anger, today i feel as shit. I got no will to do anything and i'm even surprised that i'm writing this. Tears constantly in eyes. The thought of wanting to die comes every now and then. My heart aches. It feels as my whole psyche has fallen and shattered to million tiny pieces.

I constantly have the feeling that i wish to see someone, even tho i don't consciously know who. It feels as i beg for my life for someone or something to happen. Ugh.... this really is the lowest i have ever hit.

Well, atleast i'm not suicidal yet. Got to say, this pain really reminds me of the pain of love. Heh... even if it is love, who knew it could be so destructive... ironic, isn't it?

Why am i even writing this? Am i writing this for someone? No. I write this to myself. Maybe one day i'll read these, just to remind the pain i used to feel. Maybe for some other purpose.

But if i am missing someone, then who? Just who?? This question drives me nuts yet subdues my pain!

... I really have fallen apart... but this pain, i feel as i am getting closer to something... or maybe someone.


Let's bury ourselves in music and forget who or what is bothering.

3:30 - 4:00 *Hums*

Another good song.

And Sussch, don't you dare say anything anywhere. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone.
I appreciate what you and others did, but this won't help.