Dream log: I was killed twice, apparently. (+ general log)

I cannot remember getting killed twice, but so i said.

I'm not sure what was going on. Cannot remember. All i remember, is someone coming after me. He placed hand on my forehead and then it suddenly got really peaceful and my heart stopped. Soon, my heart started up again. 

Apart from that, the new year crap is boring. Everyone's having "fun" in the living room, whilist i am laying here in bed, listening to music and watching anime. These people bore me, so i say straight to the face:" I'll be in the other room, not existing for a certain period of time". Not to even mention mom's friends who brought their kids along... I really, really hate noise and nonsense.

Dream log: Deafened, wind slapping crows and a scary stalker

I better write these down before i forget.

Dream 1: Tanks...

The most memorable scene. I walk down a street. There's a crossroad. Pretty beautiful environment (it was summer, everything was green). I look to right... "That's odd, that really looks like a tank... oh shit! It is one!" (Loud bang, can't hear anything) a huge tree falls, i nearly dodge it. I hide into nearby bush near the fence of the road. It's turning... better cover my ears this time. (dream ends)


Dream 2: A crappy birthday party

It all starts with my mom wanting to get some wallpaper from a nearby store. She does buy some... only to use it on her shoes (no idea).
At home, i'm just sitting in my room, not wanting to do anything with the guests (i kinda hate crowds of people. I'm a bad host and cannot entertain others). More people come...especially who i don't know. A pair of girls give me a piece of paper and say:"I bet you can easily decypher this". I attempt to read, but cannot understand, so i throw it on a shelf and say "I can't right now... my head feels like exploding". I go to the kitchen, take a lighter, release some gas in my mouth and light it. Bang. Greeaaat.... i'm deaf again. So there i am, sitting in the living room with others, slowly regenerating my hearing. When i heard them talk about me, i laughed, replied something with a dead serious face and ran out the door (that's kind of a thing i would rarely do :D ).

Outside... bored. A hell of a wind goes past me and gives me an idea. I see a crow and decide to wind slap it down to earth (don't ask me why... i just wanted to hold one lol). Went to grab it... damn, that bastard keeps trying to bite me. Well, i never got to hold it and got bitten. Guess it serves me right.

Also, a weird part of the dream was that there were kittens everywhere.


Dream 3: How great. An immortal stalker with superpowers who wishes to kill everyone.

Funny thing, i got even backstory to her.
The place it takes off, is some sort of a cargo holding facility. There are various machines too.
We are running away from her. We try to stop her no matter what. I see a van de graaff generator and think that would surely immobilize her... nope. She somehow gets under a trendmill but still survives. She flies off the other end, having major bruises yet nothing. I hit her on the head with a piece of wood, then on the back of the neck... nothing. We decide to run. She was obviously after me, no idea why.
As others have run away, i am walking home on a dark rainy day. Suddenly, a lightning hits the ground far away. I knew it... it was her. As soon as i saw another lightning bolt hit the ground, i jumped up (since the ground was wet, and it was her intention to electrocute me). I decide, that i continue walking on wooden fences. Still safer than on ground.

(Wake up, force back to sleep)

I'm on a computer, researching her. There are  huge drawn faces on my wall. Her faces. They change. Quite creepy.
Suddenly, i'm in a memory of hers. I see an old man and her. It's snowy and snowing. Somewhere in the mountains. It was a skiing trip, i think. The old man says:"I cannot go on, i'm so tired. Just leave me here". The girl shakes her head, places hands on the man and gave her energy to him. The old man didn't live long. He died. The girl was crying.

The reason she tried to kill me was a test to see if i am immortal, so she wouldn't have to relive one of those memories.


Well, one thing is sure. It wasn't boring.

Dream log: More depression for me!

You know what? I would be fine with being called insane if there was someone who only i can see and interact with (physically). Not that i am not insane, right now...

Dream 1: Live dogs are NOT food!

This dream took place in... Rakvere, was it? Maybe Tartu. Cannot remember. Anyways, I walk into a grocery store where i find a weird looking cake. I approach it... It freaking moved! Those eyes, shape... it's a dog! I immidietly go to the stand where they make them.
"I think you should stop making these (points to it) weird cakes",
"why?"
"What do you mean why? There's a live dog in it!"
"So?"
"What 'So?', It's ALIVE! If you aren't going to drop making these, i will pick up this matter with your boss",
"I see nothing wrong with it. If you think biologically, we are designed to eat our preys"
"It's been thousand of years since that! We don't do such things anymore! And if you know something of evolution, there should be something in that "cap" of yours.",
"(calls boss) Fine, if you can answer this, we'll stop. ******"

Here i cannot remember, but i succesfully answered it.

There ends part one of the dream.

Dream 2: I met a girl and sorta fell in love....... again....

Just after that weird accident, i buy something to eat and step outside the shop. There's a black haired girl, sitting on the ground. Nobody seems to even take notice of her. She seems sad, so i crouch down and ask whats wrong. Her mood brightens up a little and says:
"It's like i don't exist..."
"Yeeeah... these days, it's like people are brainwashed. They never tend to help others. By the way, do you have a home you cam go to?"
"No..."
"Well, in that case, do you want to live with me? I just brought some food too"
"Won't i be a burden to you?"
"Not at all! I know what it means to be alone. Even i've been through that."

(It's odd. One time it's me helping, then there's others helping me. How nice.)

From here i can only remember few scenes.
Apparently, this girl had strong PK abilities. She could freeze fire, melt ice, transform items etc.But i cannot remember any other convos with her. Grrr, damn you mind, i told you to memorize!!

// I'm gonna leave it broken here. Memories tend to come back later. If they do, i'll update, if not, i'll finish off as much as i remember. //

Problems around every corner...

Whatever i may do, it grows so stressful. Even when i don't do anything, the stress keeps growing. I'm getting scared, that whatever i may touch, will go off in flames.
Even when i watch the LCD screen (no matter what LCD) it starts to flicker a little, then my attention grows to that and so does geisting. Soon enough, i can see the refresh rate of the screen.

This isn't only with electronics. No matter what, i get scared. I feel guilt growing every second. The thought, that frequently pops into my mind is that i would like to get away from everything and everyone. I may be running away from the problem, but at least this way, i won't end up destroying things...

---

Edit: Down i hit again. 21:11, 23.12.2013... feeling shit as hell again. I should mark these events down.

The only thing that seems to make it better is not talking to anyone and embrace it at it's fullest. Recall a dream, and gain happiness from it.

http://pkalar.blogspot.com/2013/07/dream-log-i-have-no-words-to-describe.html
Second part of the dream... it still warms my heart. I guess this block of ice still has some warmth to it.

Thank you, for once again, little girl.
---


Right! I'll use this little positivity that i have to write down today's dreams.


Dream log: The end of Earth and the New Earth

It wasn't quite randomly generated environment. It took off straight away from what people called 'New Earth'. This planet had 3 suns and the average temperature was around 40C. Days did not last very long, around 12 hours. There wasn't much life. I come across some people... they were part of a cult. When i spoke to them, they wanted me to join. I asked "Why?", which they replied "Because we need money to get off this planet". On that planet, there were only very few people. Hundreds, at most. They were paid to stay together. Some used that money to build homes, others, to find life outside this planet. I asked few more questions. "What happened to the 'old earth'?" ... "Solar flare". The planet lasted for 30 millenniums (i don't know from what or from when), and this (New Earth, not this one) will only exist for 40 millenniums.
From that point, it got a little random. Looking up, i saw 3 suns. One large (I'd say about the size of 3-4 times our current sun, when you look to the sky), medium (still bigger than the current one) and a small one (it was giving off white-ish light). Sky was orange.  They arrangement was somewhat similar to this:

Further one from this point, it's useless to write it down. It got totally random and distorted. I do not remember clearly, either.

Lucid dreaming at work

Third no-sleep night. I wa so tired, that i took meditative position, then slept on it (i'm pretty flexible). Soon enough, i started to notice something weird.  This odd feeling. It's as if my consciousness "transferred" into another world. I pulled off somehow a WILD (wake induced lucid dream). What i clearly remember, is that i remember all the sounds that surrounded me. People walking past, chatting etc. When this "transferring" process took place, it felt like you forgot everything that surrounded you and you got much much more aware. So aware, that it was somewhat scary. I was mainly scared because i thought no one would wake me up for work. As the noises from this world disappeared, and the noises from the other world appeared i noticed. "Hey, i'm still in the same place! (Walking around) Wait a sec, where's my body? (Nope,no body)". I decided to wake up for a moment to see if anyone has come. nope. Back i went! Same place still. When i moved into other places, i was suddenly in a school. For some reason, i was really pissed and repelled anyone who tried to make contact with me (haha, mornings make me grumpy). I even remember watching TV! There was a music video... some sort of green santa with damn awesome metal song in the background. Then i decided to levitate down the stairs because why the hell not? :P

And all that managed to happen in 15 - 20 minutes.
When  i tried to retry it (imagine blackness, forget, imagine a place, trancend consciousness), i failed. I believe tiredness played an important rule this time. And guess what? I feel like i just slept for 3-4 hours. Freaking awesome!

(I left out about 90% details about the dream world).

A restless night

Attempted OBE last night... ended up trying til' morning. Feeling really tired. Couldn't fall asleep because there was always some crap playing in my head. But i did manage to see one dream! It was rather interesting.

It was the age when common people ruled the earth. They used nicknames (like usernames for a site) for business. From the major part, it was quite peaceful, but there was this odd side too.
One night, i dreamt. What i saw was a blur. I see a figure approaching me. A voice appears:"Do you want power?" ... "Yes." Next morning i woke up to find this weird pill on the desk in my room. It looked metallic and cylindrical. I ate it. Weird things started to happen; Eye-sight became very ... odd. The focus of my vision zoomed into any object at VERY long distances and the un-focused part remained the same. I felt really high, i mean that literally. It's as if i was watching myself from above. Mom walks into the room, my hands shake, not of fear, but from excitement. I hide my hands behind my back. Mom leaves, effect wears off.

Next night, i meet this guy again. He asks:"Do you want more?" "Yes, please." He gives me a whole big bottle of them. I wake up... i'm holding them.  I'm looking at the news and hear from somewhere "WillBilly has got sloppy." I immediately knew they were referring to those weird metal cylindrical thingies. Was he who gave them to me?

I'm going outside. About to close the door when a guy runs up, in a panic. Asks with a worried face:"Do you have any of those pills??" "Yes, i do.", he starts walking towards me with a happy face. "Stop", i say. "In exchange, i want information". "Yes, yes... anything!"... i think to myself "Is this just hunger for powers or addiction? Not that they are so different... but still". I ask "What are those things?" he immediately says with a surprised face "You don't know? Those pills will do what you want them to do! They are only handed to FEW people!! (He made it sound, as in around 10 at most, or even less)". I let out a sigh and tell him to follow me. I gave him a few (even though i had a whole bottle of them). He thanks a lot and leaves running with a happy face.

Time passes, it's evening. I'm sitting behind a desk with (*Deja vu moment... i remembered some kind of future event of my life*) my mom. I ask if she wants to try one of those weird pills. To my amazement, she agrees (she would never). I ask if she feels anything. She says in a disappointed voice "yeah, barely". Has she tried it before or is she just resistant towards it? Who knows.

(Dream cuts off. Follows a long, sleepless night.)

Well, it was an interesting dream. The closest i can describe that feeling when i took one, was like i took a TON of energy and it overpowered my system so much, that it forced me to a different mind set. In other words, half-OBE.

"What you want them to be", eh?...

PK block + OBE update + Dreams

From one side comes good, from other.. bad. In PK, i'm failing absolutely. If i'd go to PK school, i'd drop out. I get connection and everything, but PK doesn't take effect. Probably because i don't train much.

On the other side, i'm making progress with OBE again. It has kinda become a habit to try OBE every night. I'm facing another problem. When i enter a reality, i either get kicked out or lose consciousness. Now i have to find a way to stay awake when entering into these worlds.

(It's kinda like when you try to see in the dark. One moment you can see clearly, the other, all goes black. The images are too unstable. Concentration problem, perhaps?)


Aside from all the previous, i'm starting to remember dreams again.

(*Deleted major part of the dreams.*)

In the dream, i'm in a more futuristic environment. Spaceship-ish. Lights on the walls, most stuff made of metal. There were no windows. Just when i'm about to take a step, i see a commercial with sex. I mean like all private parts were allowed, with "action" (if you understand what i mean). A bit disgusted after seeing it, i get a letter (in a paper form). I look at it confused. It was rather large. I couldn't make out what was written on it. I open it and the first thing i see, is about the conspiracy about that weird commercial that i saw. I read:"

(Something like this, i cannot remember the exact text.)

*** are actually fine with such ad's?! 

Many have seen, and perhaps already have joined the resistance, against that ad. Just a short while after publishing, there was a big outrage. People are still protesting, yet nothing is done about it. 

Quoting ***:" (Woman voice speaks) I see nothing wrong with it and i believe it's a great example for children. After all, we all have similar bodies, what's there to hide?". 

But that's not all. According to the head of *** (the one who allows publishing such stuff), he thinks likewise. 

// This was only part of the top of the page. I couldn't even take a look at the other pages! Damn! //

(Dream ends.)

The next dream is pointless to tell (probably...).

Also, i for some reason seem to believe that i will live for 2400 years. It feels right. That would be troublesome though (everyone seems to say 100 years is long time, but it seems rather short to me. Maybe i'm just trying to play god, who knows.)

Update of 11 Dec. 2013

11.12.13... what a boring year it has been.

I've been only getting weaker by day, always feeling so tired. I was strugling to stay awake at bus today (at morning and at evening).

Yesterday, at work, i didn't have anything to do and guess what i found.

It was shaking from cold. It just sat on my hand for quite the while. I showed the other people too. It was amusing to see how their mood brightened up to such a small thing.
In the end, i lost it. Today i found it again. I let it out of the window (it was gonna die either from starvation or cold). I'm saying "it" since i do not know if it was male or female. I think they don't have genders... can't remember.

Yesterday, training auric sight at home again. It tired me pretty a lot. Interesting things was, that at some point i could see all colors out of tunnel vision as auric colors. It kinda like overrided the normal one.
I attempted to see through objects too. It didn't quite work, but i remember, that the objects had this really strong etheric field... it looked like a glowing white halo around it.

Attempted RV when waiting behind the work door today (i arrived too early, again). It was more stronger than usually.

Also, ive noticed strange visual phenomena. I see energy lines (channels), but usually near them is moving sparkling colorful dots that fade.


Other events are insignificant, not worth mentioning. I'm using too much "it". Oh well.

Traveling back in time or just confusion?

This morning... well, afternoon, i had a clear belief that today is sunday. I have nearly no memory what i did yesterday. The only thing i clearly remember is that i was messing around with CSS. Other than that, it all feels like a dream. Like between present and last memory, nothing existed.

Apart from that, i remember dream about something to do with meteorite's hitting the earth.

Tranquilizer, dreams...

I went to the dentist at 10:00 and came back. It's 13:42 and it has still not worn off. That makes 3 hours and 42 minutes. Usually it wears off in about half hour so what gives?
The tranquilizer didn't take effect either at first. I had to bear with the pain. Sucks. My tooth still hurts.
(I seriously hate dentists, but not the people personally)

Last night while being stalked by another entity, i decided to hit the hay. I was attempting to send out some sort of message, to myself and to the universe, that i want my past life skills and memories back.
The dream was that i had easy control over objects. I sorta twisted a flower 360 just because i wanted to know my limits (Sorry, flower!).
Also, i remember having this weird contraption with me. It looked simple. An electrolyte, transistor, LED, power source, switch. When i turned it on, it seemed like a normal light (blue, and red... both somehow but only one LED). There was a slight pulsing going on. I'm guessing it was some sort of mind state altering device?

I wonder what would binaural beats look like when visualized in a correct way.

Re-designed blog

I thought the old blog was rather difficult to read and had a bad look, so i did a bit of redesigning.

• Changed backgrounds, edge colors, font styles & sizes.
• Changed hyperlink colors to orage-ish, and when hovered over it turn blue-ish green (an attempt to awaken people's auric sight. I'm not sure how precice the color is though. I'm pretty tired and all i see is mostly blur)
• Rating system at footer.

That's mainly it. :)


Edit: Comment system still heavily malfunctioning.  Got to get that fixed when i have time...

PsiPog's creator wrote a book?

I had a ton of Ebooks on my flashdrive (over 200 for sure, mainly occult science etc.) and stumbled upon an ebook called "Sean Connelly - The Psion Handbook".

Here's a redirect to it.

  

Also, i've been reading an ebook about etheric vision. Don't know who wrote it but... yeah. I have not read a lot, but it has it's interesting points.

Also, i got double spooked by the same entity last night... not amused... not amused at all.

More weird experiences

At work, nothing to do with boss away (alone, having to deal with clients and stuff, good thing there were pretty few). Meditating on the chair, pretty tired. The blackness comes into my mind. I'm home. It's so relaxing. Wait a sec... wasn't i at work? Startled, open my eyes quickly. Yup, still at work. Time? What's the time?? The last time i checked it was 14:37... it was 15:03. The time went past fast. Good i woke up, otherwise i would've missed the bus.

Last night, staring at the sky, a strong flash of light from certain point that faded in and out. Lasted about 0.7 seconds. Happened after the thought how i was upset about how people make a commotion about one person's death, meanwhile every 1.5s people die and don't even blink an eye towards them. Who cares if a damn actor lost his life, there's more than him out there in the world!

Riding the bus (today), reading "Wanderer's Handbook" (http://goo.gl/WcXgIf), bag on the left seat. It's slightly dark in the bus (no lights on). From corner of the eye, i see something reach it's hand towards my bag. I look... nothing.

Yesterday, when i was riding the bus, i had nothing to do (didn't feel like reading nor surfing the web). I stare out of the window, looking at the scenery. It was dark outside. Something glowing on the ground, yet there's no source of light. Double check it. Nope, still nothing. Snow... it glows bright blue. It lit up the entire field. It was pretty cool.

(I had been training PK, etheric and auric sight for the last 3 days).

Again in the bus (this morning), in a usual mindset (sleepy, tired, slightly crumpy), when suddenly i get a strong urge to have sex. I mean like REALLY strong urge. It came like in a snap of fingers. It was difficult to keep thoughts out of my mind, since a large part of me seemed to enjoy the sensation, wanting more.
I was very tired this morning, as in drained of energy and will (wanted to use energy on the bus, got a strong "no" from subconscious).