Dream log: Distorted away

This is... i don't know how many'th dream in the row that has been seriously distorted. People's personalities are completely different. I cannot read their actions anymore.

Dream starts off with me somewhat expressing my rage against my mom. She gets fairly depressed. I wanted to say sorry, but she would not realize what she had done wrong, so i did not. She disappears. Thus begins my journey to search her again.

The next thing i remember, is being somewhere in a big city (something like London sub-urban areas). The environment is completely unknown to me. I do not what to expect at all (thus having a slight awareness that I'm in a dream, yet no conscious control over it. I tend to find fun in "going with the flow"). A bit later, it's night. I meet with some people who fell out of the school. Their personalities aren't as much distorted, but there is a noticeable difference. The one who i got along with, seemed to be in some sort of a gang. He was somewhat more aggressive (in real life, he was in a friendly way. He never hurt anyone, though). There was a barrel, burning something, or maybe, for heat and light. The overall mood was sad. Everyone seemed... lost, yet somehow they had enough will to support each other. The one whom i spoke of, poured water onto the fire-alarm switch (it should go off) and it went off. I ran out and looked behind with a confused face... they were just sitting there calmly (or perhaps, they seemed as there is no help). A while past, no firefighters, no nothing.
I decided to buy some coca-cola from a nearby open-air shop. In the end, i brought some kind of powdered stuff, instead of a drink. Well, it was only 2.60 (no idea how i remembered that so precisely).
As i take my leave, i come across a kid (roughly 5-7 years old). He asks where i am going. I said, that I'm not sure. That I'm in search of my mom. I told her name and he said that he was allowed to be her new "son". From that point, i sorta developed some hatred at him. Perhaps jealousy. I didn't really care a lot, so i let him follow me.
We walk across streets and he asks if i know where I'm going. Suddenly, i remembered that I've seen this place before. From a dream (paradox? Remembering dream inside a dream?). A place flashes across my eyes. A name. "Grand ???????". I begin to search for a place with that name. Luckily, i memorized big part of the path i must take.
Not long after, i find the place. I open the door... I'm on the 4-rth floor already? Hmm. Mom is speaking with 2 other women. I simply stand and look, deciding not to interrupt. The boy does not do anything, either. I could sense him looking me with fear in his mind. I do not waver.
When mom looks at me,  it feels like she falls deeper into a pitch black hole. The one where I've been falling for ages. For eternity. Her eyes are lifeless. I felt sad, yet i already knew, that this personality is distorted. She is not from where i am, yet it made me wonder, perhaps, it is i, who lives many lives at once? How come i have never met myself? Many thoughts go through my mind, yet i decide to put them all aside. I say:"Did this running away help you? The one who is supposed to fall, is me, not you". I see regret from her face. She stands up without a word, and goes to another room. Her mood did lighten, though. I sit on a couch. Right in front of me, i have a clear view over the city. It's deteriorating. Everything seems to be in bad shape.

// Dream end


It's strange. Are my dreams being influenced by my mood? They never have been before. It's also strange, that this has been going on over a week now.

Also, i'm not quite sure what i meant under "falling". I think i meant the constant dreams about falling into darkness (and now the depression), but who knows. Perhaps there is a more significant meaning behind it.